George

George is a 20 year old young man.He is bony, just like his sister, and lives in New York with his father and sister. George is quite lazy and does not have any education, although he says he does. He wants to get an education but he is too lazy to do anything about it. He has gone through a process and at the end he is finally back on the right path.

George grew up in a poor, small neighborhood, where everyone knows each other. He had some relations with girls and other kids but they got weaken(phr. - find a different way to say he is lonely and hardly no friends) because he did not see them anymore. Generaly he did not leave his house and did not meet them at school because he is a drop out(phr.and gr. - "because he dropped out at the age of 16").

George has two close people in his life; his sister and Mr. C. His sister cares about him but does not see him much becauseof her job. She tries to help him but it does not work. But Mr.C makes him change the way his life. At the end of the story George starts reading at the library, just like he said he did(gr. - would) to Mr.C. He picked up his education and finally got into the real life.(phr. - "began to live his life").

To sum up, I think that George should do something with his life. He messed up once when he dropped out (of) school, but thanks to M.C, he got back to(ww. - on) the right path. The story does not give us more information about George's life. I think it(מיותר) that the story could be a lesson for 16 yearsold kids like him. - there is no connection between the two last sentences here.

This is better, but there is still a bit of work to do.
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Daphna