12/5/08
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Dear Liran,
Hi, how are you? I hope everything is fine. I am sorry I havent written in the last few days, I was busy. I saw in the newspaper the article about your school, thats really cool.
I want to tell you about something very frightening that happend to me and my friends in Roni's birthday.
It was friday night, and we all met near Roni's house. After a while, at around 10:30, after we finally found Jasmine close to the clothing store, because she didn't know how to get to Roni's house and got lost, then we were ready to go. we went to " King and Jorje's" restaurant, it was best favorite place we found, all others were kind of full... embarrassing right?
We all ate, drank and had fun. After the happy celebration, at 1:45 a.m. ,we all decided that it its time to go home. We all went together to the same area. Everyone was tired and we just wanted to get back to our housesand go to sleep. But, just near the main street, a drunk driver hit one of my friends, and throw(sp.) him around 6 meters far from the car.
The happy celebration became a nightmare... the ambulance came and took him to the hospital, At the same time we called his parents and told them what happend.
He was fine eventually and released after 2 days, nothing broken.
To sum up, this case ended very luckily, but sometimes it can be very tragic
Dont say to yourself " it won't happend to me" we have to be aware.
I hope you are fine, we havnt spoken long time since we met. I heard about the accident in school, how is your hand?
Shoval
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1 comment:
First of all, I was really shocked when i read what happened to your friend, let's hope it's the first and the last time it'll ever happen to any of us.
Your structure is very good, well organized paragraphs as well as most of your content and I give you a credit for that.
I think that the opening is too short, you should have asked few more questions concerning your friend.
The ending, same as the opening is too short and doesn't realte to the content and I think you should work on your opening and ending.
Generally, I think you did pretty good with your letter and you should be pleased.
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